Good morning
How can I get mad at you for trying? Isn’t love making room for mistakes? I was in my own head, not thinking this way. I didn’t think too much about you and how you feel, didn’t look below the surface at what words don’t reveal. I say I am so loving yet, how can you love without grace? Like I said love is about giving space. Give space allowing you to fall, then making sure you are ok in whatever place. I just don’t like to feel like someone’s playing in my face. Maybe true love would be unconditional grace. I just didn’t like how you made me feel but I didn’t look to see the ideas behind my discovery. I promise it is ok, you have a lot going on. I can’t hold that against you, I would like to be with you. I don’t want to beg, especially to feel good. I guess it my responsibility to make sure of that. I would likely feel good if your responsibility was to sit down and relax. That doesn’t mean that everything comes without work. I need these feelings between us to just be stable and not be berserk. I dropped my expectations and yet I am not fully accepting of surprises. I am not mad at you especially for trying. I promise you can come back when you are ready. I just don’t want our feelings feeling to unsteady. There is no pressure but I would like to see you come back. This time I could have more grace. I bet you feel like your nervous system is under attack. I want you to come back so we can navigate together, almost like the storm-watchers unafraid of bad weather. We watch your system from highs and lows. And listen with no judgement I know you are, but I don’t want you to be judging. No you should not be judging not even yourself. Just like me, giver yourself grace and I bet that whetever you are feeling will be in a better place. I hope I did’t scare you my feelings are just so strong. I never allowed myself to feel this way, I cannot unlock everything all in one day. I still need my practice now I just ask that you have grace and understanding. I promise pumpkin I just want us to be together in a much better space. But I need you to know that doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you. Obviously you are strong but I don’t want to see you under all this pressure trying to brace. Please allow me to step under and bear some weight. I hope I didn’t make you feel bad it was never my intention but now I feel better after navigating what I was feeling. If you are ok I will just be fine. If you are ok I would like to test our time.
03.04.2026. 7:00 AM.
